that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
