I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
