I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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