I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
