Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
