I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
