Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
