I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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