i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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