Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
