We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
