I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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