So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
