I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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