good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
