i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
