Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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