Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
