Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
