...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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