is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my sisters under your porch take her home
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
