Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
