I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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