Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
