She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
