So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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