K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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