I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
