He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
