it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
