I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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