I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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