..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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