there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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