I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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