you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
