I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
