I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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