I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I enjoy the company of your penis
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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