We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you had me at cake vodka
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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