Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
