I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
