I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
