Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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