She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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