I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
