What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You made out with two different species that night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
