I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
