umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
