I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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