I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
